


the dark side has cookies...no really, it does

by Zakyuu



Series: the alchemist of the sea and his dragon rider husband [2]
Category: How to Train Your Dragon (Movies), Rapunzel's Tangled Adventure (Cartoon)
Genre: Assumptions, Banter, Cassandra takes a swing and misses, Eugene is So Done, Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III is a Dork, Hiccup is Okay with this, M/M, Poor Cassandra, Poor Eugene, Possessive Behavior, Public Display of Affection, Suspicions, Varian is Touchy-Feely
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-22
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:47:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 647
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25441123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zakyuu/pseuds/Zakyuu
Summary: Cassandra tells Rapunzel that these Vikings may be corrupting Varian with their...barbaric...behavior.Eugene would like to respectfully disagree.
Relationships: Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III/Varian (Disney)
Series: the alchemist of the sea and his dragon rider husband [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1834885
Comments: 5
Kudos: 61





	the dark side has cookies...no really, it does

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [(Like the moon) I'll sway the tide and lead you astray](https://archiveofourown.org/works/15837708) by [chamiryokuroi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chamiryokuroi/pseuds/chamiryokuroi), [ThatOneGirlBehindYou](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatOneGirlBehindYou/pseuds/ThatOneGirlBehindYou). 



"So...Hiccup," Eugene drawls, hooking an arm around the Viking's shoulders. It isn't on Eugene's life itinerary to go talking to Northern barbarians with charming personalities, but if a long lost kid with a criminal record that recently got absolved of said crimes just came back to town with your kid in tow, then his plans would need a little adjustment. "How exactly did you and Varian meet?"

He ignores the way the other Viking —Antelope, was it? — glares sharply in his direction, opting to nudge Hiccup towards a bar-stool in the Snuggly Duckling.

His wife invited them here, and after some careful deliberation (from Varian) and some wary discussion (the Vikings), they accepted out of diplomacy.

He's not being very subtle in his prying, but either Hiccup is the world's greatest actor or he was just that dumb, replies without hesitance. "We saw their ship sailing in our waters. We decided to give them a little greeting."

Eugene sips his beer, observing the way Hiccup says this. At first glance, the man doesn't look like your typical Viking at all. He's, what do you call it, two barrels short of scrawny with an attitude that didn't exactly fit the general term of what constituted as a Viking.

" _Greeting_ , huh?" Eugene says because something about the way Hiccup says it looks awfully like it meant an entirely different thing. "I don't suppose he was expecting that was he?"

"He looked so surprised to see us, honestly. I think we scared them a bit," Hiccup admits, rolling his eyes fondly.

"Oh please," Eugene watches as Varian himself approached them. "Scared is a _gross overestimation_. I was startled, is all."

Eugene watches how the alchemist casually drapes himself over the Viking, taking his mug of beer with nary a protest from the man, and chugged it down like a champ.

If there was one thing that was different about Varian, Eugene would have to say it's the social attitude. Gone was the awkward ramble and stilted greetings. Now Varian held himself with quiet confidence, almost arrogant, with a sly gleam in his eye that makes Eugene suppress a shiver.

And do not get him started with how touchy-feely Hiccup and Varian are. Honestly, if Hiccup himself didn't look so elated and relaxed around Varian Eugene would assume they were both fucking with him.

And that was the thing. Hiccup wasn't the one smugly taunting him with the display. Varian was.

"I have to ask," Eugene says, because he doesn't know whether to be fascinated or uncomfortable with the intimate way these two were interacting. "Are you two a thing, a couple, boyfriends, or am I getting these clues wrong?"

Hiccup blinks at him, then looks down at the steadily creeping fingers Varian has been trying to intertwine with his, and back to Eugene. "We're...uh..."

"Yes, Eugene. He's mine. And while I would laugh at your sorry display at digging for information, I decided to be gracious instead." Varian offers him a coy smile, eyes glinting with a barely concealed threat, and once again Eugene suppresses the need to shiver.

Hiccup, for whatever reason, does not sense the mood and merely rolls his eyes and kisses under the jaw of his lover. "Gods forbid you ever decide not to be gracious," he chuckles, leaning into Varian's hold.

"I have absolutely _no idea_ what you're talking about, my dear," Varian replies. "Did you have any more questions, Eugene?"

Eugene gives him a flat look. "Plenty. But I'll push my luck sometime later."

Varian snickers, sending him a chilling smile full of teeth. "Good choice."

Eugene's seriously beginning to wonder whether Cass' claims of the Vikings corrupting Varian with their barbarian ways are true or not.

Because from where he's standing, it looks as if Varian himself is the one who is slowly turning the Vikings over to the "dark side".

**Author's Note:**

> i just wanted to have a moment where Varian publicly declares Hiccup as off-limits with extreme prejudice.
> 
> or extreme physical intimacy.


End file.
